


Solitude

by Synnerxx



Category: Degrassi the Next Generation
Genre: Angst, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-23
Updated: 2009-11-23
Packaged: 2018-07-12 04:22:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7085521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synnerxx/pseuds/Synnerxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh, solitude. Forever me and forever you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Solitude

Sorrow had a bittersweet taste, Spinner decided. Bitter because he wanted something, or rather someone, he could never have in the way he wanted. Sweet because he had them in a way, somewhat. Just not in the way he wished he could have them. 

Sorrow also weighted heavy. It made his heart ache to keep a hold on the burden and he wished he could confess his secret to someone, anyone, to relieve the strain on his heart. But there was no one close enough for him to do that with, except the one person he wanted, but could not have and that very reason kept his mouth shut and his heart heavy.

Sorrow was watching the one he loved get engaged to someone else and made him smile when told the news by the same someone he loved. He longed to shout “I love you more that she ever will! Why can't you see that? Why can't you see me?”, but sorrow prevented him from saying a word and causing his sorrow to inflict itself upon the one he loved. He simply could not bear to see the light go out of those bright blue eyes and that smile fall from those lips.

Sorrow made him distant and aloof with all his friends. They questioned him and pushed at the walls he had suddenly thrown up around himself in vain. He couldn't let someone get close to him again and risk his heart. Though he doubted he could love anyone but that person, he wasn't going to take any chances and slowly pulled away from everyone. The others soon gave up, but that one person that had his heart didn't. They were relentless and patient, slowly but surely breaking down every single barrier between the two of them, until Spinner was vulnerable before them. 

Sorrow pushed him to find comfort in the arms of others, if only for a little while. No one could truly take the pain away and he knew that. Well, one person could, but would never be able too, because they didn't know they were the cause of it in the first place. Spinner never planned on telling them either. This was his sorrow to bear and he would in silence and heartache. All because he knew his loved one would be happier not knowing the real depths of his feelings for them.

Sorrow caused his smile to be more fragile and brittle these days. Nothing made his real smile come out anymore. Not even the person he loved because they were occupied with the person they loved and it wasn't fair. Why did Spinner have to fall in love with the one person that would never love him back? Was this some kind of punishment? And if it was, for what? He had no idea. He just wished that he was someone, anyone, else to get away from the weight of the sorrow that sat, heavy and consuming, on his heart. But there was no escape. At least, not for him.

Sorrow is what prompts him to wake up in the middle of the night with tears on his cheeks and the words “I love you, Jay” on his lips.

There's no escape and no release from his sorrow and he deals with it the only way he can. 

With brittle smiles and false dreams.

Sorrow, thy name is unrequited love.


End file.
